


Give Me My Breath Back

by artbyweb86



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bobby Nash is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Buck needs a hug, Coping Mechanisms, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Maybe Bobby needs one too, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Therapy, What is wrong with Bobby?, Worried Firefam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-21
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-28 23:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artbyweb86/pseuds/artbyweb86
Summary: It's a slow 24 hour shift. Buck grabs a snack. Something is wrong with Bobby.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 85





	Give Me My Breath Back

They are on hour 18 of a 24 hour shift. It has been a slow day in terms of calls. Just a few in the beginning and no calls since. Most of the crew are in the bunks, getting in a few hours of sleep. But always at the ready.

Buck stirs from his sleep and slowly wakes up. He isn't sure why. So he lays there for a few minutes, listening to the snores and breathing of his bunk mates. Eddie is curled up in the bunk next to him. Breathing is even. He barely snores. He smiles as it one of the rarer times he gets to see his boyfriend look so relaxed on shift.

His stomach grumbles and he pushes himself off the bed and makes his way up tot he kitchen. Nobody is out on the floor, so when he makes his way up the stairs he startled to see a figure on the couch. Upon closer inspection reveals Bobby. He has fallen asleep sitting up on the couch. Paperwork spread out on the table in front of him. He smiles. Bobby always did like doing work out with his crew, instead of the tiny little office.

Not wanting to wake him up, he quietly navigates around the kitchen and scoops out some mac and cheese that Bobby had made earlier.

He sits on the arm chair next to the couch. He expects Bobby to stir, but he doesn't. He must be really tired. It's rare to see Bobby sleep. It's rarer still to see the man not in motion.

He quietly chews on his food. He watches Bobby for a minute. Looking so peaceful. He is still chewing when he notices something isn't quite right.

So he puts his fork down and watches Bobby. Like really watches him.

There. His breathing is really slow. But he is sleeping. Breathing slows down, right?

He watches for another minute. He actually counts his breaths.

Five. Five breaths in a minute. That isn't good. He remembered reading somewhere that normal breathing in an adult is like 12-20 breaths per minute, even in sleep.

He watches again, just to make sure it wasn't a fluke. Still five.

He put his bowl down and sat next to Bobby, hoping he was just sleeping. He sat a little harder than intended, hoping his jostling the seat would wake him. It didn't.

"Bobby?"

He reaches for his wrist, which was loosely at his side and checks his pulse. Really slow. Definitely not normal.

"Bobby? Can you hear me?"

Nothing. Okay. Not the time to panic. Hen and Chim are only a few feet away.

He checks Bobby one more time making sure he was still breathing before he ran to the fire pole and slid down.

Hen was sleeping and Chim looked like he was half asleep, book resting on his chest.

He jostled them at the same time.

Chim snorted awake and opened his eyes in annoyance.

"You took me away from a very wonderful dream, Buckley. This better be important."

Hen was stirring too, she tried swatting him away.

"Chim, I think something is wrong with Bobby."

That's all he had to say when Hen and Chim sat up with worried looks on their faces. Eddie was stirring now too.

"What? Where is he?"

"The kitchen. On the couch."

Hen made a beeline to the ambulance to grab supplies and Chim bounded up the stairs. Eddie was not far behind.

"He's sleeping, Buck."

"No. Maybe. I don't know. I counted his breaths. Like five per minute. And his pulse is really sluggish too."

Hen was up the stairs not a minute later.

"Get him laying down and legs elevated."

Eddie and Chim shifted Bobby so he was on his back on the couch. Buck pacing back and forth in the kitchen, running a hand through his hair with worry.

Hen applied the blood pressure cuff. Waiting for that to start it's reading, she checked his heart and lungs.

"Lungs are clear. Breathing is shallow. Heart sounds good, but also slow."

Chim took out the pen light. "Eyes are equal and reactive."

Hen sat back as the blood pressure cuff beeped. "110/70."

"Buck and Eddie, grab the backboard. We should take him to the hospital. Do you know if he's on any medication? Or ate anything weird? Anything happen on the last call? Did we get any strange batches of cookies or brownies again?"

Chim shook his head. "We haven't been accepting snacks for a while, because of last time. Nothing strange at our last call either."

Eddie and Buck returned a minute later and as they were about to transfer Bobby to the backboard, when they heard a quick intake of breath. Bobby's chest expanded with the breath and he let it out slowly.

"Wha...Bobby?" Hen rubbed his sternum gently.

Bobby stirred and slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the lights that were above him. They helped him sit up and he blinked a few more times. Finally noticing his crew, he smiled.

"Hey guys, do we have a call?"

"Nooo...Bobby? What happened? You were practically comatose." Hen checked his vitals again, keeping a hand on his arm.

"Oh. Oh! I am so sorry. I learned a new deep meditation practice. I sometimes get this deep urge to start drinking again. Nothing sets it off, just how my brain sometimes wants to cope with life. I found someone who taught me to kinda get out of my mind for a bit. It really helps. I can control it for about 20 to 30 minutes. You must have caught me in the last few minutes of it."

The tension that was in the air was cut with everyone chuckling a little.

"Maybe warn us next time. Huh, Cap? We don't want to think you are having some kind of episode every time we find you." Chim smiled.

"Sorry. Normally I do it in the privacy of my own home. And if someone is around. Not that I anticipate something going wrong. I knew you guys would know what to do if you found me. Who did find me?"

"Buck did."

Bobby smiled and glanced up expecting a big smile from the youngest member thinking he would make a quip or rattle off some kind of fact about meditation. Instead when he wasn't directly in his field of vision, he scanned the room. He landed on the man who was standing in the kitchen. Buck's eyes were wide and unseeing, breathing rapid. Bobby was all too familiar with that look. It brought him back to when they found him at the makeshift hospital after the tsunami, focused solely at Eddie and Chris, breathing quickly before he collapsed.

"Buck?"

That stirred something in the boy. He jolted and then his breathing seemed to increase, and he bent down so his hands were on his knees, and he was squeezing his eyes shut. "I-I'm fine. Gi-give, I ju-just need a minute. Oh, god. _Fuck_."

Eddie stood up and quickly made his way to his boyfriend and started rubbing his back. Buck flinched causing Eddie to pull away in shock. He crouched down so he was eye level with him.

"Buck. Cariño. It's okay. Bobby's fine. We are at the station. In the kitchen. Can you steady your breaths for me?"

Buck tried, he really tried. He shook his head as he gasped and tried to control his breath. He had to crouch down, hands and knees now on the floor to prevent himself from falling over. Eddie again getting down at eye level, whispering calming words and rubbing his back. It didn't seem to make an impact.

Bobby made a move to get up. Hen put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine, Hen."

She nodded and let him go. He stood and make his way to both men on the floor. He could see Buck trembling, trying to gain control again. His shirt already damp with sweat and his hair was curling at the ends.

He then grabbed Buck under the armpits and hoisted him up so they were eye level. Buck's eyes going wide when he makes contact with his.

"Hey kid. I'm right here. See? Watch my chest. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Wait for a few seconds. OK, now exhale slowly through your mouth."

Buck struggles for a little, until he is able to do it once. "Good. Again."

They do it in unison a few more times until Buck stops shaking and his breathing seems back to normal. His eyes are closed as he is focused now on his breathing.

Bobby is still holding Buck up. His arms around his chest. Buck clinging to his arms.

Buck opens his eyes and they are clearer. Unshed tears threatening to fall. His face glistening in a sheen of sweat. He takes a shuddered breath, and shifts his weight so Bobby isn't physically holding him anymore.

Bobby reaches in his pocket for his unused handkerchief and wipes Buck's face, ridding any evidence of tears and sweat, though his face is still flush. Turns it inside out and wipes at his neck.

Buck just silently stares, his eyes wide, eyebrows high making him look young and small.

"I'm sorry, Bobby."

"It's alright, Buck. I should have warned people beforehand of my meditation. Thought I haven't had to use it here before now."

"But, you're okay? You don't want to drink again? You know what happened last time. And healthy? You'd tell us, right?"

He chuckled, patting Buck's shoulder. "I am fine. And I would. In fact, I had a physical just last week. Clean bill of health."

Buck nodded, a big sigh. He looked exhausted from the panic attack.

"Uh, do you think you could teach me that mediation technique? Sometimes, I think I need to get out of my head."

"Well, I think you might need to run it by your therapist. This might not be right method for you."

Buck nodded. "I have to make another appointment with her. Would you...no, never mind. It's silly."

"Hey, no. Tell me."

"Would you sit in on a session with me? Just to talk about this event. Maybe an outside perspective could help Dr. Copeland understand my anxieties a little better."

"You want me too?" Buck nodded, looking uneasy, but also hopeful. "Alright then. I would be happy to. We will find the time."

"Thanks, Bobby."

Just then the alarm went off. They all jumped at the sound. The announcement was for medical only.

Bobby glanced at Hen and Chim, who waved and were already halfway down the stairs. He turned back to Buck who had closed his eyes again. Maybe thankful that it was a call he didn't need to be on. He jostled Buck's shoulder to get his attention.

"You're gonna be okay, kid?"

Buck opened his eyes again, this time they were a little glassy. He tried to smile. "Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Sorry again. I don't know what happened. I just thought you were, oh...". a sob escaped his lips.

Bobby pulled him into a hug. Buck buried his face into his shoulder. He glanced at Eddie who had been watching the whole thing. He also looked small and lost. His entire team had been through a whole lot in the past year or so. They were dealing with it the best way they knew how. He let Buck cry a little longer, before pulling his back and brushing his face again with the handkerchief.

"Okay. Here is what you are gonna do. Go take a shower. Then you will come back here to finish your meal, that I so rudely interrupted. Then you will go to the bunks and rest. I will come get you if you are needed at a call. Do I make myself clear?"

Buck sniffed, but nodded. A small smile dancing on his lips. "Yes, Cap." He did a mock salute before heading downstairs to the showers.

He turned to Eddie who watched him go.

"Eddie? How are you holding up?"

"Me? Fine. Better than Buck. But you really gave us a scare there, Cap."

"I am sorry about that. I just had this overwhelming urge to have something strong to drink while I was going over paper work. I had to..."

Eddie caught on. "Take control."

Bobby nodded. "Exactly. I am glad I did it, cause I feel so much better."

"What would have happened if we had a call, can you come back from it quickly?"

"Hmm...good question. I haven't tested it like that. I guess it didn't work if I didn't feel you moving me around."

Eddie looked deep in thought. "Maybe you come find one of us when you are feeling like that? Save the meditation for home, where you have more control. I'll keep you busy in the gym."

"I'd like that. Thanks Eddie. You are looking after yourself?"

He nodded. "I'm fine. Buck has been a great partner in that regard. We'll spar at our gym at home, if I am feeling antsy. I even have a few therapy sessions with someone that Dr. Copeland recommended. He is really good."

"Glad to hear it. Alright. You are offline as well, unless I need you. Make sure you and Buck eat and then back to the bunks."

"Thanks, Cap."

He sits back down to continue to look over his paperwork. Eddie gathers the abandoned bowl of mac and cheese and dumps it. He goes back into the fridge and takes out some eggs, some cheese and mushrooms. He grabs and skillet and places it on the burner and starts cooking. Eddie is now a master at the breakfast omelette. As he taught Buck all those years ago, Eddie is eager to learn. Though he is a slower learner. But he has Buck to learn from as well.

He is focused on his papers when he hears footsteps again on the stairs. He looks up to see Buck in sweats. His hair damp, so it is still curly. He looks more refreshed. He joins Eddie in the kitchen and they move in sync to prepare the dishes. He loves to watch them work. He smiles and returns to his work. A few minutes later a plate with an omelette appears in front of him along with a glass of orange juice. Buck smiles and sits on the couch, Eddie joining him, leaving very little space between the two. He chuckles, raises his glass, the boys do the same and they eat in comfortable silence.

The boys finish eating and clear the table. Chatting as they clean the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

Eddie then guides Buck out of the kitchen, an arm wrapped around his waist. Buck's around his shoulder. They continue to talk about something. He thinks its about Chris. He watches them as they descend the stairs and disappear into the bunk area.

Bobby smiles. He leans back and stretches.

How did he get so lucky to find such an amazing family and have the best job in the world?


End file.
